Sugarcoated Dreams

Today I turn 34. Once upon a time I had my life planned out. I would graduate high school, move away to attend college, graduate into a lucrative career in the city until I decided to marry, settle down and have 8 children in my custom-built home in the country. I realized as a very young adult that this was a complete farce when reality kicked in. My parents moved away from me, I attended college for 2 years before deciding that I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my life, realized I hated the city, and while I definitely wanted to marry, I definitely did not want 8 children, and since I hadn’t picked a lucrative career early on would certainly not be able to afford that custom-built home in the country.

Why do we dream such elaborate dreams? Why do we so desire to be somewhere further than we are? And on that note, do you notice like I do that our dreams are often sugarcoated? As if our lives were lived on pink fluffy clouds with platters full of chocolate fudge that doesn’t make you fat or sick to your stomach. No one ever “dreams” a nightmare. We might worry about it. We might prepare for it. But no one when asked what they would like out of life describes a nightmare.

And yet, how many in pursuit of a dream live a nightmare? I mean, when life happens and our dreams don’t, it’s easy to be discouraged. But it’s an entirely different story when we start living the dream and it’s not nearly as sugarcoated as we thought it would be, and it in fact feels much more akin to a nightmare.

I am pursuing a dream right now. And in my pursuit, I am realizing some things about dreams that I had never thought of before: Realized dreams cost and realized dreams are hard. Maybe there are some who realize a dream without feeling that they’ve sacrificed something, but I haven’t met them yet. I believe that God gives us dreams. I believe that God sometimes even “calls” us to pursue them. I also believe that God knows that there will come a time, or many times, when we will have to choose to continue pursuit or call off the dogs and return to family matters, like burying a loved one (see Matt. 8:19-22, Luke 9:57-60).

When dreaming, we may realize that reaching for such a goal will be hard and often painful, but rarely do we consider the toll it will take on those around us. This day and age the payment required for a dream attained is often a marriage, a family. No wonder so many celebrity marriages fail. The ones who have made it to the top have gotten there for the reasons of true grit: an I-will-make-it-if-I-die-first kind of will power to stay the course. This is the kind of determination that I imagine it takes to win a gold medal in a competitive sport. It’s not necessarily that these medalists and spotlight-connoisseurs don’t care about family or their spouse. But the burning flame of a dream consumes their hearts, and even if they were to give up the chase, I believe many would find the same fate because their heart would have nothing left for which to burn.

And when dreaming, rarely do we consider that there will be times when we want to give up. I’ve often described the childbirth process (I’ve experienced it drug-free 3 times) as feeling as if you’re dying over and over again. I think attaining a dream is much the same. There comes a time when you feel to bear one more moment, one more setback, would mean death, and then you survive only to find that very same feeling around the next bend. And over and over again you hear yourself asking, “Is this what I really wanted? Am I really ready for this? Can my family survive this?”

When we know the dream is of God, and we know beyond a doubt that it is our deepest desire, how do we push past these moments that can easily steal our propulsion and leave us stranded in the wasteland of unattained dreams? Which, by the way, is the place I feel is most dangerous for the family of a dreamer, and where most people abandon ship.

The truth: I’m not completely sure. But, here are a few things that have kept me going:

1. Look at how far you’ve come. Throughout the Bible is the encouragement to remember the altars that were built. Look back at those times when a loved one (or it may only be God) has persuaded you that you’re on the right path. Remember the moments when it just seemed that everything was lining up exactly right and pointing you towards destiny.
2. Celebrate EVERY victory! Whether it be no unread messages in your inbox, a finished project within the project, or the promotion you’ve been waiting years for – celebrate it with whoever will celebrate with you. And don’t be afraid to celebrate in as big a way as you can afford with as many as you can fit. And when you don’t have a victory to celebrate, celebrate past victories. (See #1.)
3. Be thankful for what you have. And WHO you have in your life. I feel like this should be on every numbered list no matter the subject. Seriously, a thankful attitude will never, ever hurt you. I will tell you this: When you’re in the moment of questioning if this is what you wanted, being thankful will be the last thing you’ll want to do. But even begrudgingly, thankfulness leads to optimism and optimism propels you forward, or at the very least away from where you are.

Fast-forward a few years from my farce dream and I managed to conjure another: My husband and I would lead worship at a mega church with lots of spotlight, have 4 progeny children, and live in a big, beautiful home far enough from the city to smell the fresh air but close enough to shop.

Reality: I am a worship leader of a wonderful small church full of loving people, married to my amazing husband who, while he serves in my church and worships with me, holds a Bachelor of Science (and most of his own dreams) in Game Design, living in our blessed home far from the spotlight (but close to shopping!) with our incredibly smart and normal 3 children. And truthfully, I am living a dream; it just doesn’t look quite like I thought. And while I’m still dreaming, I plan to do so with a much more thankful heart.

Throw Me, Daddy!

By Staci Pace

One night, my husband was playing with our four-year-old daughter, and while attempting to throw her into the air (like he had done many times in the past) I watched as her face grimaced in total fear. “No, Daddy!” she cried. “I’m afraid of heights!” Her fear filled me with utter sadness. Her father had never dropped her, never thrown her away from him, never grabbed her too tightly; where had she picked up this irrational fear? My daughter was unable to experience the sheer joy and delight she had in the past simply because something unrelated made her doubt her safety in the arms of her father.

As I watched my husband talk with her and work with her through her fear, I couldn’t help but think how many times fear has stolen joy in my own life. I pictured myself in the arms of Father God, crying out in terror, “No, God! Don’t throw me! I’m afraid!” Where do we get this fear? Are His arms not the most capable of catching us? Is He not the most aware of how high we can go without harm being done? I began to ask what decisions might be keeping me from experiencing the very real FREEDOM that Christ died for. Here are some things that came to mind. Maybe you can relate.

1. We put all our trust in someone else.

Perhaps fear entered my daughter’s mind when someone other than her daddy attempted to heave her far into the air. When we take our eyes of the Father and look to someone else to keep us up, we find ourselves flat on our back, wounded and blaming God. It’s not that we shouldn’t trust other people, but that we should trust them THROUGH God. Knowing that when they fall short, the Father, who loves us all (sinner or redeemed), will pick up the slack. We need to remind ourselves from time to time whose arms we are in. He is trustworthy ALWAYS!

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. Isaiah 43:1b-2

2. We’ve loaded ourselves with circumstances.

Imagine trying to jump on a trampoline with a hiking pack loaded with all the gear necessary for a backpacking trip across Europe. Each time we jump up in the air, our backpack would decide exactly how and where we land. Our circumstances weigh us down no matter how we might try to configure the weight of them. But God is ready and waiting to take the weight for us.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

3. We have a death grip on our traditions.

My daughter didn’t want to be afraid, and after watching her two older brothers get thrown high into the air, she asked to try again. Each time my husband tried to throw my daughter in the air, she would attempt to grab onto his clothes, which of course kept her from flying high. Holding onto God’s cloak is not the same as putting all our trust in Him. While some of our traditions truly are from Him, if we hold too tightly to them, we will never go as far as Christ intended for us to go.

How can we sum this up? All those people who didn’t seem interested in what God was doing actually embraced what God was doing as He straightened out their lives. And Israel, who seemed so interested in reading and talking about what God was doing, missed it. How could they miss it? Because instead of trusting God, they took over. They were absorbed with what they themselves were doing. They were so absorbed in their “God projects” that they didn’t notice God right in front of them, like a huge rock in the middle of the road. Romans 9:20-33 MSG (selection)

4. We let the world dissuade us.

It is also altogether possible that my daughter was “taught” to fear heights by her older brothers. Sometimes well-meaning people put things on us that are not from God at all. The world has a completely different view of wisdom, and when we fully rely on God, we appear fools to the world. If we let worldly opinions and philosophies crowd our minds, we will never be able to let go and fly.

Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their own craftiness”; and again, “The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.” Therefore let no one boast in men. 1 Corinthians 3:18-21a

My daughter didn’t give up, and neither should we. She kept trying to find that trust again, and in the end, exclaimed with fists clenched tight and victory in her eyes, “Yes! I did it! I did it!” Is her fear completely gone? Not quite. But she’s learning to overcome it, and maybe we can to.

What is holding you back from the Father’s freedom? What steps can you take to let go and fly?

This article was originally posted at RockSongChurch.org

Ministering Beyond a Rejected Heart

As a minister in the local church, one becomes emotionally, physically and spiritually attached to their job. It can’t be helped, and I’m not sure that it’s a bad thing. As ministers our heart should be in it. It should be an outpouring of what God has put on the inside. Our ministry should be what naturally just happens because we are passionately seeking that to which God has called us. Unfortunately, this leaves us in a very vulnerable state. While pouring out our heart, it often gets rejected by those to whom we are desperately trying to minister, or those with whom we are ministering.

Most of us have been there: We have shared our sweat, blood and tears with someone who suddenly abandons the vision or maybe even attempts to run away with it. We spend months or years spending all of our energy in training and equipping someone who turns right around and walks away from it all claiming no opportunity was made available to them. We pour out our heart and dreams to someone we care about thinking they will support us in our efforts, only to find they consider it frivolous. We love and love and love and forgive, forgive, forgive a difficult person over and over again who rejects the acceptance and spitefully lies about who we are. We pursue an avenue of provision only to be ignored or belittled. And over and over again we offer our heart to the Maker, who makes it soft again, and we put it out there once more.

This phenomenon is no new thing. There is hardly a minister mentioned in the Word who has not dealt with the pain of rejection. Joseph’s brothers so rejected his dream that they set out to kill him. David felt the stab from his own son, Absalom. It was a rare moment when a prophet was actually accepted by the people of the times. Paul had to withstand much rejection throughout his ministry. And Jesus, of course, was met with the ultimate rejection.

So, when our heart is rejected, because, no doubt, it will be, how can we carry on in our ministry? While these may not offer you the solace you are looking for, these three things have kept me going even with my broken heart.

1. Remember WHO YOU ARE.

Although it might seem like it at times, our ministry is not ALL that we are. We are sons and daughters of the Most High God. We are His chosen people created for Him. And regardless of how long, how hard, how often, how simply, how effectively, how truthfully we serve in ministry; God will still love us just the same. He will still call us His children. He will still hold us close to His heart. Remember that you are His.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:3-6

2. Remember your WHY.

What is it that persuaded you to serve in the first place? What cause stole your heart? Whenever I am discouraged and down trodden, I hear these questions in my mind, and I must say that the cause still makes my heart beat a little faster. It still stirs me to love the lost AND the found. It still calls my name, and I still want to answer. Your WHY is written on your heart, and even if you have to dig to find it, the rediscovery is well worth the dirty work.

And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28: 18-20

3. Remember WHO HE IS.

If you feel as though you have been burned so badly that you find yourself questioning who you really are, or your why is too far buried or seems empty now, it’s time to return to your first love. Seek the Father. He will never disappoint. He will never forsake you. There is never enough anger or resentment to send Him away. Let Him be your refuge. Surrender to Him your bleeding heart and let Him mend and heal and renew.

The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Again I will build you, and you shall be rebuilt, O virgin of Israel! You shall again be adorned with your tambourines, and shall go forth in the dances of those who rejoice. You shall yet plant vines on the mountains of Samaria; the planters shall plant and eat them as ordinary food. For there shall be a day when the watchmen will cry on Mount Ephraim, ‘Arise, and let us go up to Zion, to the Lord our God.’” Jeremiah 31:3-6

What has helped you to minister beyond rejection? What scriptures offer hope to your bleeding heart? What is your WHY that calls you beyond your own strength?

 

 

This article was originally posted at RockSongChurch.org.

The Start of Something Great = A Tsunami of His Presence

Do you ever feel on the verge of something amazing? As if just one more turn away from your desired destination…or a bite away from that goody you’ve been craving for the past week…or a moment from the long awaited first kiss? I feel right now as if a great life-changing revelation is just inches away. It’s a great feeling! And there’s nothing like that feeling to launch you into an incredible time with the Lord, and bring about a greater passion for the things that touch His heart.

For the past year and a half, or maybe even longer than that, I have been hearing teachings and lessons on the power of sound; particularly the sound of God. Well, I’m finally getting it! It took a while, but thankfully God is a patient and persistent teacher and has continued to speak to me on this subject. I have been a believer for as long as I can remember that worshiping God brings His life-changing presence and that awesome things happen when we create an atmosphere of praise. God inhabits our praises to such a great degree that worship can bring about healing and deliverance. I have believed that worship can change the world around us, and more importantly, can change us from the inside out so that we can change the world! But today I got an even greater revelation.

When we worship God in spirit and truth, literally worshiping Him by the righteous and eternal spirit He has placed inside of us [worshiping in spirit] through Christ [the truth] our praises not only reach the throne, but are joined with the praises of eternity. You know, that heavenly place that John talked about in Revelation where all the saints are surrounding the throne. Our praises reach that place and are joined with ALL the praises from before Christ to the end of time and beyond, from every tribe and tongue, nation and people, creation and all that is within it. Imagine THAT sound! We worship Him in spirit and truth, we enter the heavenly realm and get to look on time as God does: from above.

Today, I saw a picture of Christ surrounded by the praises of His people, His body, His church, His bride. I saw every word and song swirling about Him as sound waves deep on the ocean floor creating a tsunami. And as we praised Him, the storm grew and He was lifted higher and His train reached further and more was drawn up in the wake of the storm, and whatever was not praise to the Lord was obliterated. And I realized that this is the power in our praises! This is the power in our worship! This is what we can bring to earth by creating an atmosphere of praise to our God!

Imagine what will happen when the Church as a whole rises up with praises on their lips inviting the King of Glory in all His splendor to earth to begin His reign! That is when we will see God move on this earth like never before! That is when we will see the enemy put in his place once and for all! That is when nothing will be able to stand that is not bowing it’s knee to the Lion of Judah! That is the kind of worship I want to be a part of during my time in this world. A revival of the SOUND of the praises of God: a sound that breaks the chains, heals the broken, removes the barriers to His presence, draws the lost, and brings the storm of glory to the world around me!

I can feel it! It’s rising up! And I don’t think it’s just rising up in me. And I am believing that the bride of Christ is getting ready to take her place and call to the Bridegroom, “Come, Jesus! Come, my Love! Come, oh King and take Your place!”

Does a Water Walker have to have a clean house???

I shared a room with my beautiful sister, Kelli, most of my young life. I have very vivid memories of my mother checking over our bedroom, which we claimed was clean, only to discover our stash under the bed, the closet on the next check, and on the final failed inspection – in our drawers. I don’t think we pulled all three of those in one day ever, ever again. One thing about sharing a room with someone: you learn a lot about your own bad habits (and of course the one’s of the opposite party, but I won’t include my sister’s bad habits in this blog for fear of my life ;)). The way Kelli puts it I always took good care of my things, just not in a very neat fashion. Somehow I did not get that “clean” gene. How did that pass me by??