Wellspring of Life

By Staci Pace

There’s a belief that I have that when Jesus said, “I go to prepare a place for you,” (John 14) He wasn’t talking about the sweet by and by. I believe that He meant when His work defeating the grave was completed, we would immediately have access to the presence of God. And truly, I feel that when we worship, we have the opportunity to get into that place where everything else fades away: our problems with our spouse, our concerns for our children, our worry about what people think of us, even physical pain…Everything fades away. I also believe that we can reach this place wherever we are by a simple act of worship: centering our mind, will and emotions on Christ and allowing that redeemed spirit inside of us to take over. It has happened for me many times: in church with many saints, in my car with noisy children, lying in my bed before going to sleep.

But, truly, honestly, that’s not enough for me. Although it is bliss, and I can access that any time, I still want more! I realize that, as a believer, I have Christ with me at all times. Yet, I long to experience Him on a deeper level ALL the time. I want to feel Him close to me. Unfortunately, for now I have this ever-present, constant struggle with this part of me called my flesh.

My flesh is un-redeemed and consistently screaming for my attention, whether it is for the necessities of life or for those less important, but equally strong, temptations. My soul is not always on board with this desire of mine, either. My feelings constantly betray what I know to be true and, not unlike Paul, I can’t go very long without making a decision that is contrary to what I know is the way of Christ. One day, I will leave this flesh behind to spend eternity in the presence of my glorious King, completely unveiled, fully alive to the Spirit, but until that day…

Is Christ disappointed that I can’t remain in a constant state of awareness of His presence in my life? Is He disappointed that I do not always recognize the glory cloud of the Holy Spirit that is with me always? I would imagine that He is disappointed, much like any man would be with an aloof and distracted wife. (We are His bride after all.) However, I believe Jesus’ love is great enough. I believe that regardless of how seldom we actually take notice of His presence, He is pleased beyond measure when we do. And I believe that He enjoys it when we cry out to Him, “I want to be closer! I can’t get enough! I want more! I’m not satisfied!”

Now, it could be argued that we shouldn’t be dissatisfied or hungry for more because Jesus also said, “Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.” (John 4) So does this mean that we will never feel a craving for the presence? If, as believers, Christ dwells in us as promised, shouldn’t we always be satisfied and full, overflowing even? Jesus continued, “The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” So, surely we all have a constant flow of spiritually satisfying, live-giving water gushing out of us that everyone around us experiences any time we are around!

But, wait a moment. What about that grocery store clerk that I was incredibly short with for taking his sweet precious time bagging my fresh produce on top of my fresh loaf of sliced bread? What about the woman I completely cut off on the way to school this morning because I didn’t plan ahead for my lane change? What about my daughter who I yelled at yesterday for getting banana all over my bedspread? I really don’t think these people were experiencing the overflow of my wellspring of life. And I’m positive that I was not either.

Why not? I think the culprit is that pesky little part of me I mentioned earlier: my flesh. It gets in the way! As much as I wish that I could take each step of every day in the full knowledge and awareness of the Spirit of God inside me, I can’t. Despite my every effort, I fail. Something happens in the day to draw my attention away, and often it’s not even external. And so a thirst rises up within me to once again experience that living water. I have a longing to have my eyes opened to what is actually present, even when I don’t feel it. Maybe you have the same experience.

Thankfully, all we have to do is surrender our own desires, thoughts and ways, and we can once again get a taste of that sweet and fulfilling water. And, when we are completely surrendered to Christ, so can those around us. And even if it’s for a moment, that moment, I promise, will be well worth it. And then tomorrow, you’ll be hungry for it again!

 

This article was originally posted at RockSongChurch.org. 

Ministering Beyond a Rejected Heart

As a minister in the local church, one becomes emotionally, physically and spiritually attached to their job. It can’t be helped, and I’m not sure that it’s a bad thing. As ministers our heart should be in it. It should be an outpouring of what God has put on the inside. Our ministry should be what naturally just happens because we are passionately seeking that to which God has called us. Unfortunately, this leaves us in a very vulnerable state. While pouring out our heart, it often gets rejected by those to whom we are desperately trying to minister, or those with whom we are ministering.

Most of us have been there: We have shared our sweat, blood and tears with someone who suddenly abandons the vision or maybe even attempts to run away with it. We spend months or years spending all of our energy in training and equipping someone who turns right around and walks away from it all claiming no opportunity was made available to them. We pour out our heart and dreams to someone we care about thinking they will support us in our efforts, only to find they consider it frivolous. We love and love and love and forgive, forgive, forgive a difficult person over and over again who rejects the acceptance and spitefully lies about who we are. We pursue an avenue of provision only to be ignored or belittled. And over and over again we offer our heart to the Maker, who makes it soft again, and we put it out there once more.

This phenomenon is no new thing. There is hardly a minister mentioned in the Word who has not dealt with the pain of rejection. Joseph’s brothers so rejected his dream that they set out to kill him. David felt the stab from his own son, Absalom. It was a rare moment when a prophet was actually accepted by the people of the times. Paul had to withstand much rejection throughout his ministry. And Jesus, of course, was met with the ultimate rejection.

So, when our heart is rejected, because, no doubt, it will be, how can we carry on in our ministry? While these may not offer you the solace you are looking for, these three things have kept me going even with my broken heart.

1. Remember WHO YOU ARE.

Although it might seem like it at times, our ministry is not ALL that we are. We are sons and daughters of the Most High God. We are His chosen people created for Him. And regardless of how long, how hard, how often, how simply, how effectively, how truthfully we serve in ministry; God will still love us just the same. He will still call us His children. He will still hold us close to His heart. Remember that you are His.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:3-6

2. Remember your WHY.

What is it that persuaded you to serve in the first place? What cause stole your heart? Whenever I am discouraged and down trodden, I hear these questions in my mind, and I must say that the cause still makes my heart beat a little faster. It still stirs me to love the lost AND the found. It still calls my name, and I still want to answer. Your WHY is written on your heart, and even if you have to dig to find it, the rediscovery is well worth the dirty work.

And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28: 18-20

3. Remember WHO HE IS.

If you feel as though you have been burned so badly that you find yourself questioning who you really are, or your why is too far buried or seems empty now, it’s time to return to your first love. Seek the Father. He will never disappoint. He will never forsake you. There is never enough anger or resentment to send Him away. Let Him be your refuge. Surrender to Him your bleeding heart and let Him mend and heal and renew.

The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Again I will build you, and you shall be rebuilt, O virgin of Israel! You shall again be adorned with your tambourines, and shall go forth in the dances of those who rejoice. You shall yet plant vines on the mountains of Samaria; the planters shall plant and eat them as ordinary food. For there shall be a day when the watchmen will cry on Mount Ephraim, ‘Arise, and let us go up to Zion, to the Lord our God.’” Jeremiah 31:3-6

What has helped you to minister beyond rejection? What scriptures offer hope to your bleeding heart? What is your WHY that calls you beyond your own strength?

 

 

This article was originally posted at RockSongChurch.org.